he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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