how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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