We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
