I smell stomach acid.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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