areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
