Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
