You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
