Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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