I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Houston, we have a blender
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
