I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
