At least make sure they are 18
Why
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
