People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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