Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
