I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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