he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
