I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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