Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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