Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize