WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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