I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize