I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
