Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
