also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
