My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
