OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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