oh god the rape fog is back!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
