I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
