Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Never joke about your clitoris.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
