no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
