I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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