the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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