Got a toothbrush?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
