I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
