i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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