i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
