you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
