when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
