4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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