the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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