you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
