Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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