If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Randomize