Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've blown a few things in my day
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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