I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize