I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
