absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize