some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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