its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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