We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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