my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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