We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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