How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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