I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
