if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize