who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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