remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
