It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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