His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
