this beer tastes like vomit already
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
