I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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