dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
