i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
