it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
