Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
