when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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