That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she smelled like a LAN party
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
