Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
