I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
