Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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