my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
