On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
