before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
