Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
