So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
