so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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