it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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