At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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