You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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