Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My dick has a subreddit
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize