Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
