cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
