I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
